Jun
Mistress Alexa,
First, I just want to say “YOU ARE INCREDIBLE” and thank you for all the time you have given to me with regard to my training.
I really truly want you to transform me into a shemale slut. I hope you can keep me focused on that goal. I know the road will be very difficult for me. Bringing the girl inside me out will be very challenging. I am very stubborn and don’t want to loose my “manhood”. I learned alot about myself today. After our chat I did a lot of thinking and I wanted to take time out to update you on my current state of mind and the changes I am experiencing both physically and emotionally.These changes have been taking place slowly over the last 3 years or so. Sex with partner is mostly oral. Intercourse is very rare and not exciting for me. I have no children. I find it difficult to stayhard basically. I always think about being a shemale slut while it ishappening. Otherwise, I get super hard with my dildos. I can bring myself to the most intense orgasms with a big dildo inside my “cunt” andone down my throat. I can take all 9″ inside my “cunt” and 8″ down mythroat. I am getting used to the smell of my “cunt”, cum and rubber. Iam getting hard just writing this message to you. I don’t have to use myhand anymore and that has taken years for me to develop. It is sointense it scares me. When I cum that way I can feel deep down that I ama girl. I experience multiple orgasms that way. Without the dildo deepinside my cunt my orgasms are much weaker. What does this mean? And isit safe for my body? Please advise me on this further.I find myself wanting strongly to go buy some heels, stockings, bra,make-up, dresses and a wig again. Panties feel like they belong on mycunt. I don’t want to purge again. I hope you can help me to prevent itagain. I find myself watching alot of QVC jewelry, make up and womanfashion programs on tv more and more lately. I guess I am just realizingit more after our chat. I am scared deep inside to be honest with you. I wish you were here now. Part of me wants to just runaway. Please helpme through all this. Will you eventually put me on hormones? What is inmy future? Will I become a cock whore? I don’t want to be alone. Please write back to me when you can. I will be waiting to here fromyou. Now, my cunt feels empty alot more and I find myself drawn to mydildos just to feel them (the big one has realistic balls that move inthe sack). I just love that especially when I am sitting on it.
Please don’t leave me.
Sincerely,m
